Parents Breaking Up

Family separations are one of the worst things people ever have to go through in their lives. As soon as the parents break up, there's the bitterness and anger that surges into it, the kid's minds being f**ked with and the confusion of what they should do.
Some parents are crazy enough to start getting their kids involved, like my parents did. They brang me and my siblings into the whole fight and we are now messed with and as confused as ever. We know nothing will be the way it was, but having to put up with the arguments etc, it's killing us. Its like all the happiness is gone as soon as we're at either houses. Yeah you can have fun with one parent, but in the end the other parent misses out. I feel guilty when that happens and i hate hurting other people.
When i decided to live full time with my dad, i was fine. I was happy and i was having fun. I didnt want to go to my mums because of what she did. It's now been 2 months since i was at her place. Well right now i'm at mums. All last night she screamed at me and i screamed back. I cried and cried so much. I dont know what it was over. All i know is that i didnt want to be there. I had a different point of view on things and she didnt want to listen.
As soon as i argue about what i want or do what i want (about living arrangments etc) I end up hurting someone or more than one person in one way or another. It hurts so much to know that. So if i play by everyone else's rules, i wont end up hurting anyone. But that also means that i'll have to live as an unhappy person just so others can have their happiness.
I'm so confused and unsure of what to do. I dont want to hurt people but i also want to try to be happy.
If anyone has any suggestions, that'd be good

Books and Feelings

Ever been so wound up in a book that you get emotional over it. I'm currently reading Crazy For You by Jennifer Crusie and i'm very into the book. Best book i've read so far. To sum up what's happened so far:

A girl called Quinn finds a stray puppy and decides to keep it. However, her boyfriend does not a approve and thinks of it as a rat. Quinn goes to school (as she's an art teacher) and while she's gone, her boyfriend (Bill) drops the dog off at the pound. Quinn doesn't agree with the idea of pounds and is furious when she finds out what he's done. Bill never listens to her and thinks he can always get what he wants.

Quinn finally decides to break up with Bill and with the help of her best mate Nick, they move her into her mum's house until she can find a place of her own. She finds a house and moves into it. In the meantime, her best friend Darla is having trouble 'getting it on' with her husband, Bill is plotting against Quinn, and her best mate is falling for her.

Just after she's comfortably moved in, Quinn is fianally happy. Bill breaks in while Quinn is gone and steals her spare key to the house to get it cut so he has one for himself. He lets her dog out of the back gate and calls the pound on it. Luckily for Quinn, Nick saves the dog before it got picked up by the pound. Bill goes over a few days later and lets the dog loose again and puts the pound on it, saying that it's bitten a man. Quinn finds out later that night and is furious but the pound wont let her take it out and says it has to be destroyed.

Quinn turns to Nick for help and together they bust the dog out of the pound. When they get back to Quinn's house, her mother admitts that she's a lesbian. Nick also pulls a move on her, kissing her and feelings her up. They are interrupted by Quinn's dad who rang the door bell. Her dad got kicked out of the mum's house.
Soon after Quinn's dad arrives, Nick tells Quinn that he shouldnt have kissed her and that it was because of her hair. He doesnt want to ruin their relationship. But truth is, the both of them both want to be together, but only Quinn admits that.

It's an awesome book. I recommend it to anyone who likes romance, dognapping, stalkers, sabotage and secrets.

The point of all this is that ive been very wound up in it and ive almost thrown the book against the wall in some points. Especially the part where Bill called the pound on the dog. I'm cried in some parts and i've smiled in others. I get very emtional in some books. It's like i'm there. But anyway, it's such a good book. MUST READ!!

The One For Me

Your face imprinted in my mind
I see you all the time
Your smile too cute to miss
Entrances me to kiss, those,
*
Lips of yours
So soft and sweet
I long to taste them,
To know they can't be beat
*
Cause you're the one (the one)
The one for me
When i'm with you

I feel so free

Love at first sight

It's with you i wanna be

Cause you're the one,

The one for me

*

My feelings for you are stong

I think it's with you i belong

Somehow i know it's not wrong

To long for you, and the things you do

*

Cause, you're the one (the one)

The one for me

When i'm with you

I feel so free

Love at first sight

It's with you i wanna be

Cause you're the one

The one for me

Hungry Eyes - Dirty Dancing

I've been meaning to tell you

I've got this feelin that won't subside

I look at you and I fantasize

You're mine tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

*

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and I can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

*

I want to hold you so hear me out

I want to show you what love's all about

Darlin tonight

Now I've got you in my sights

*

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and i can't disguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I

*

Now I've got you in my sights

With these hungry eyes

Now did I take you by surprise

I need you to see

That you were meant for me

*

With these hungry eyes

One look at you and i cant diguise

I've got hungry eyes

I feel the magic between you and I...

*

Thats how i feel about Mark. Ever heard of love at first sight

My Boyfriend

No matter what Symesy and i fight about, nothing has been able to tear us apart. Even when it's full on, we always make up. We sort things out without too much drama and everything turns out alright. So many people want us apart. And yet nothing they've tried so far has worked. If we are that strong and if we feel that strongly for each other, this could last for ages (which i have no problem with) Symesy's always there for me, whenever i need him. Whenever i'm down he's always there to pick me up. I love being around him because he's funny and is really good company. We get along so well. I can say whatever i want to him and he can say whatever he wants to me. We aren't embarrassed to say stupid things anymore. We've become so so close over the last 2 and a half months and it's been awesome. I love spending time with him and talking with him. He's the best boyfriend i've had. He's been so supportive about my problems like; my parents breaking up, family members passing away etc. Even when i cry on his shoulder, he's not embarrassed to say things or not give me a hug. He knows the right things to say to me to make me feel better. I love him so much!!!

Death of a loved one

Have you ever been told that a loved one has only got till morning to live?? And have you been told by a person who isnt even in your family that the loved one has till morning to live?? I have. Just a few minutes ago. My mother didnt hasnt told me, my sister or my dad anything. She's known since this morning that my Pake only has till morning. Did it skip her mind to tell us?? Or did she keep it from us deliberatly? I'm honestly not game to askright now but you just wait till i talk to her again. It'll be abusive and it'll also be the last time i ever speak to her.

My Pake's dying :( He's leaving us and i had to find out by someone who isnt even part of the family. Although i could almost call her step sister. Nothing against her. I'm glad she told me, otherwise i might not have found out until he was actually gone :(

Romeo & Juliet - Shakespeare

Romeo and Juliet. Two destined lovers. Two poorly taken lives. Two deeply in love souls, with two families at war against one another. So why were they destined to die? Fate took their lives and gave their families peace. Is that showing that if two families are at war, their children must die just to bring peace?

Shakespeare was a brilliant writer and people have many diferent views off his works. Some say he's too deep. Some say he's boring. My thought is that he is one of the best poets of all time. He spoke so fondly of love and what its feeling is. Romeo and Juliet for example was a story of true love which brang the children to their deaths. It's a beautiful story that goes deep into some peoples hearts especially mine, which could be the reason why i am so fond of the romantic tale. He spoke so deeply of love and how people show affection. He showed meanings of feelings and actions. For example, when Juliet is unsure to kiss Romeo:

Romeo (to Juliet) - If i profane with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this;

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss

Juliet - Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss

Romeo - Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

Juliet - Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer

Romeo - O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;

They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair

Juliet - Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake

Romeo - Then move not, while my prayer's effect i take,

Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged

Juliet - Then have my lips the sin that they have took

Romeo - Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again

Romeo shows Juliet that hands are together in prayer and that lips could do the same by coming together. I think this is a sweet way of showing affection. Too bad we arnt all in Shakespearian times.